Impacting Utah

No one likes brown air; thick, chewy, POINTY air. I am really sick of smog. It literally hurts to breathe. The beautiful Wasatch and Oquirrh Mountains are not to be seen, and haven’t been visible for weeks. All the exhaust from the copper smelter, the oil refineries, and the 5 billion cars on the road here every day is trapped on top of me (okay; US) by high pressure. (I did say 5 billion,  because I MEANT IT.)

In spite of the lack of clean air (=oxygen), I feel really hopeful. Not sure why. I feel alright—-good, even—on the inside. Like I’m comfortable in my own skin. (Do you care about any of this? How could you possibly??) Somehow, it doesn’t even matter to me whether you care or not! And I guess that’s the deal right there. I feel like just being me, making myself vulnerable. It’s a freedom-thing, I s’pose. (lol) Baby, life is good.  Smog and all

I’m tired, but not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.  What deems a burnout or a breakdown?  Usually I have high energy and loads of motivation. Right now I can’t think of one thing I really want to tackle.  It’s all my responsibility, I give no blame, I take it all.  But it still stinks.  I know that my spiritual reserves are weak, I know God can see my condition, and can’t be happy with it.  Who is?  I need more than just a postive attitude – my wife and kids are depending on me.  Living in SLC for some, (me), is a mysterious thing.  I tend to think that some people have a target on them for whatever reason…  so this is where I am today.  I have a chance to re-determine my will and efforts — taking control of my life – spiritual and physical.  One ‘good’ thing to this season I’ve put myself in is I know firsthand how depressing and hopeless and thrill-less life can be at times.  God help me to be get a move on, and be a true encourager of others…

I can’t list all of them, not enough room, nor are they in order… but here are some things I like about, no, love and are so impressed with… that I just can’t contain myself anymore… here they are…  the way she decorates the house, sometimes changing on a daily basis…. how she hates to hurry… how she can make gluten free/ dairy free food taste better than regular food… the way she’s committed to homeschooling, even when it’s hard work… how she doesn’t pretend to go through the motions in her faith, even at the expense of what others think of her… her love for coffee.. her constant bantering in famous and not so famous movie lines, which now have rubbed off on our children… the way she curls her hair… her love for candles… how she seems to have time to listen to just about anyone who needs to bend her ear, often disturbing her day… shopping on sale… her beautiful voice that harmonizes with about anyone or anything… and these are just a few off the official list… I can’t believe she still loves me after all these years, 20 plus, but man and I’m thankful…

I’m under the weather this week, with 5 out of 7 symptoms of the swine flu.  Today I’m better, but I got to thinking about my near death experience almost 5 years ago now.  I felt crappy for 3 or 4 days, went to the doctor, didn’t get better, then met my doctor at the hospital because I had to parts of my body that were swelling up.  After the first 5 seconds of him looking at me, I knew I was in trouble.  I immediately went to the er, got checked in, started going septic, and was just hours from death.  That’s the short story.  Anyway, yesterday I wondered what it was like to have the swine flu, and end up seriously ill.  I remember I’ve been there, and because of some kind hand from God, I didn’t move on to the afterlife.  I am still here, with a wife of 20 years, three perfect children, an encouraging family and a whole lot of friends.  I may be sick, but I’m not dying, and that’s good enough for me.

College football is so much fun to follow.  You can not only enjoy your own team, but follow the conference.  And plus, there are always about 5-6 other compelling games across the country each week.  I wonder how the Pac-10 would look if they picked up Utah and Colorado?  They’d reach the Super-Conference Status, and would add some fresh intrigue to the west.  Speaking of ‘fresh,’ I’ve picked up a new favorite restaurant here in Salt Lake:  Bajio Mexican Grill.  Their sweet pork is out of this world, and the mexican rice milk is great!  refill after refill every time! 

I’ve been doing FBook for while, and just found out this week, thanks to my wife,  that unless you send someone a message via inbox, everyone can read everything.  So I immediately started sweating and getting nervous, wondering how many people a may have offended.. unintentionally…  hhmmmm

I love my kids.  More and more I’ll just stop what I’m doing and watch them and try to soak in how special they are.  I am so lucky and forturnate and I know it.  The way they crack me up and use such a witty sense of humor!  My son is so tall and lean and kind and thoughtful, etc…  My girls amaze me how beautiful they are on the inside, and I remind them all the time.  I wonder what they will be like when they get a few years older?  Will they want to spend time with me, will they laugh with me, will they be embarrased when they’re around me?  I have NO idea what things will be like – and I’m not sure I want to know… I like things the way they are right now….  I’m absolutley the luckiest guy on the planet… I don’t deserve what I have…  thank you, God.

Now that we’ve gotten back from Nebraska, we are switching gears in a handful of ways… one, we are settling into our new home, which we love and trust God directed us to it, that’s what we believe… two, we have a dear friend and a new friend who are coming out to join us in ministering to those on university campuses!… oh, how we need them… three, we are entering into totally unknown territory of campus ministry – primarily Westminster and the UofU for starters….  four, a new season of home schooling our 3 children – and hoping for the best year yet… five, we’re still atempting to get fully funded for the ministry here in Salt Lake….  I don’t have time to be scared of what lies ahead.

This Sunday I’m gonna talk about recent killings of Christians in and outside of Mogadeshu.  Most people probably don’t know anything about it, but there’s a militant Islamic group – al Shabab – who is going around hunting down Christian converts and beheading them.  On top of that they have killed innocent children too.

We need to remember our persecuted brothers and sisters across the seas.  In prayer.

Every time I (Tommy) end up visiting friends back in SW Kansas, I feel like I’m back at home.  Renewing old friendships and remembering old times.  No matter how many times I go back.  No matter how often or how seldom I visit, I somehow just pick up where I left off at last time.  It blows me away to see people go through really hard times and face challenges that would destroy the average person next door.  But these friends from Kansas are strong and steadfast and faithful.  I want to be like that.  I want to be like them.  I love them.  I hope they love me!  They inspire me and unknowingly, I’m sure, push me to press on and keep moving and making a difference where I’m at.  I need them.  They are a part of my life, though 15 years removed from living just down Main Street, I hope they know they are special and have changed my life.  I’ve told them over and over, and I hope they believe me.